Ditch your comfort zone

Just when you think that life is going well with you, a huge bombshell drops in front of you. Deep down you kind of knew it was coming.. but not so soon. You find out via a friend that you ex has just gotten married to a woman that he knew for a year. Like WTF.

Things were looking up for me. I had come a long way from having my heart broken by a man that I thought really loved me or should I say believed that he could love me. I had so many opportunities to walk away, protect my heart but I wanted him to love me, see me. Those words that came out of his mouth that it’s a convenience for him to date me and that he could potentially love me in the future. I should have seen the signs, I should have just run away. But I didn’t, I chose to stay, I chose to succumb to his needs and desires and leave all that I truly wanted behind. I lost myself in him.

It took four and a half years for him to finally man up and utter those words of “ I love you”, but I am not “in love with you”. That shattered my heart, I was broken and lost. We stayed friends for a year after we broke up because we worked together. I still loved him and cared for him, maybe I was hoping he would come around and realize that he did love me deeply. But the day that he told me he has met someone and would like to start dating again, I got outraged and angry. That was the first time we had ever really fought with each other.

I started to turn into someone I did not want to. Jealousy and resentment was an understatement. But I was willing to do everything in my power to get him back. That this other woman does not know him and cannot have him. How selfish of me at the time. It took about 3 months for me to finally get the courage to leave my job. I could not be around him knowing he is loving someone else. Touching someone else with me still there working closely with him. It was killing me inside. I needed to get out. I was loosing myself and heading down a dark rabbit hole.

But that’s where I took control and started the healing work with myself. It took me on an amazing journey of self discovery, self love and working with awesome healers that I have no doubt be apart of my life forever. Life sure has a weird way of presenting opportunities at your doorstep. The big thing is , you have the choice to open that door and walk through it and be ready for the roller coaster ride it will take you on.

This particular journey I have been on the last year has taught me so much about life, the universe and what bigger role we all play in each other’s lives. Spirituality and the awakening of ones sole is truly invigorating, scary and magical. To find and discover your soles purpose in this life is a blessing. To become one with the universe and share your gifts with the world and be an inspiration to those around you is a powerful feeling.